In early 2020, I agreed to ghostwrite a 220-page book for a C-level exec. I mistakenly accepted the gig for a below-market flat rate. Long story short: The project didn’t go well because my client kept moving the goalposts and reneging on past decisions. After three increasingly frustrating months, I walked away and left a good chunk of change on the table. I figured that my sanity was worth more than I was losing. (If you want to read the whole account, click here.)

I learned a great deal from that experience. As someone who prides himself on self-improvement (cue Homer Simpson quote), I vowed to revamp how I worked with future ghostwriting clients. In this post, I explain how and why I now date before I get married.

The how is simple: Before agreeing to take ghostwriting projects over the past four-plus years, I insist that my clients and I conduct a book brainstorming session. Clients walk away with a book title, subtitle, synopsis, and reader personas that excite them. After that period, either one or both of us can call it a day. So far, though, all of my them have opted to proceed with the whole kit and kaboodle.

The Benefits of Starting Small

If I ask a potential client the following questions before we begin working together in earnest, what do you think their responses will be?

• Will you respond to my queries in a timely manner?
• Will you commit to your decisions, or will you constantly change your mind about foundational concepts?
• Will you treat the others on my team with respect?
• Are you willing to abide by our agreed-upon process? Even for ostensibly minor items like editing a manuscript, ignoring tried-and-true methods will cause chaos for everyone involved.
• Will you use the necessary tools that will make our collaboration successful?
• Are you a micromanager?
• Will you respect my time and writing and publishing experience?
• Will you attempt to complete your tasks on time?
• Do you constantly operate in crisis mode?
• Are you inexplicably going to go off the grid for weeks at a time without telling me?

“No, I’m a complete pain in the ass,” said no potential client ever before a ghostwriting project began. I’ve spoken with a slew of ghostwriters who have, for some of these reasons, failed to jell with new clients over their careers. No scribe bats 1.000 over a sustained period of time.

The Other Side

By the same token, all future authors looking for help want to know if their would-be ghostwriters or writing partners are:

• Reasonable.
• Deeply knowledgeable about the contemporary publishing landscape.
• Able to respond to crises quickly and calmly.
• Experienced.
• Honest.
• Able to respectfully disagree and offer constructive feedback.
• Flexible.
• Responsive.
• Capable of occasionally reading minds.
• Professional.
• Organized.
• Engaging as a writer.
• Able to solve problems and meet their deadlines.
• Able to accurately capture their voices.
• Budget conscious.
• Humble.
• Intelligent.
• Kind.
• Tolerant of honest mistakes
• In the end, worth the significant financial investment and time required to produce a professional book.

Checking all of these 20 boxes is indeed a tall order—and I’m probably forgetting a few.

Proceeding With Real Data, Not Hypotheticals

In all my years writing for clients, I’ve yet to discover a foolproof way to ascertain the true answers to these questions before our work begins. I doubt that one exists. Just because plenty of my prior clients love my team and me is no guarantee that the next one(s) will. The same holds true on the other side.

By first completing a small project, my client and I learn each other’s rhythms.

By first undertaking a relatively small project, my client and I learn each other’s rhythms. Over the course of a few weeks or months, we develop a sense of our long-term compatibility. We answer those initial queries better. Ultimately, the results of the ideation sessions help us assess if we should continue to work together and write the whole book—a process that takes much longer and will probably result in some level of healthy disagreement.

If what I just described sounds a great deal like a romantic relationship, trust your judgment. A Vegas-style elopement after a two-week courtship is unlikely to stand the test of time.

The Overlooked Benefit of Hybrid Publishing

What You Need to Know

Always do your due diligence before hiring any service provider—especially ghostwriters. Throw caution to the wind if you like. Don’t be surprised, though, if you want to file for divorce midway through it. Take it from me: Starting with a small project is the best way to go.